I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
