I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
