Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
