All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
