Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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(646): View more from New York

Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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(315): View more from New York

While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

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(816): View more from Missouri

Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.

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(550): View more from

She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?

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(765): View more from Indiana

I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire

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