Sry I called you an 8
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
