Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize