i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
