there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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