he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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