He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
