all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am naked and annoyed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
