Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize