Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize