Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
