Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
