My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
