Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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