i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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