your room smells of hookers.
And success
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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