I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
