Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
