She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
