I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
