redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
