you didnt know i had herpes?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
