id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Vodka?
Forever.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
