if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
