I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
