hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Vodka?
Forever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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