are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
