I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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