i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
