We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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