He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
