I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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