Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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