super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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