after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
