Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
