her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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