so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
