forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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