what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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