did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
