You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize