They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
