Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
