You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
