In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
