I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wakey wakey hands off snakey
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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