I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
