I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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