No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
