Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
