just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
