My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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