god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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