you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
