check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
