are you so shy because you have an std?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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