It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
